He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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