I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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