On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
