Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize