Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
