Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
