I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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