They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
