and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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