Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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