he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
