i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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