Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Your cock deserves a montage
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
