STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
