We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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