You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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