Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
