i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
