Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
