Don't you send me to vm
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
