forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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