Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
