I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
