Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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