And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
