All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.