Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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  (303): dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party. http://tfl.nu/thh9
  Replies (9) Good night (2323) Bad night (741)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  Predator. Straight up.

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  (574): I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator? (1-574): Predator. Straight up. http://tfl.nu/63zz
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (3060)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..

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  (614): good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut. (740): i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck.. http://tfl.nu/ltlc
  Replies (37) Good night (5254) Bad night (1132)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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  (503): Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy. http://tfl.nu/7ct1
  Replies (11) Good night (615) Bad night (3113)
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  (661): View more from California

  Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

  (1-661): View more from California

  Lol thats a classic

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  (661): Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me. (1-661): Lol thats a classic http://tfl.nu/zpo3
  Replies (31) Good night (5077) Bad night (836)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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  (215): i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it http://tfl.nu/rarj
  Replies (14) Good night (7088) Bad night (660)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (3247)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.

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  (847): you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after. http://tfl.nu/68kq
  Replies (10) Good night (1271) Bad night (4811)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

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  (330): WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL. http://tfl.nu/0dj7
  Replies (12) Good night (5140) Bad night (861)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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  (402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt
  Replies (8) Good night (2432) Bad night (776)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How about a mike?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Already had two of those

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  (978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (645)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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  (805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (499)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

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  (903): We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service. http://tfl.nu/lvor
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (365)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
  Replies (9) Good night (2059) Bad night (639)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.

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  (616): Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick. http://tfl.nu/ifwc
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (234)

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