you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!