Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
3pm strippers are depressing
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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