are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
