I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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