Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
