i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize