his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
