Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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