he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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