I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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