woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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