What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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