Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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