Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
