Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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