And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
