He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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