Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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