i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
