i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
