i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
