Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
