Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize