Little spoons don't ask big questions
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
