My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need water and some morals
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
