I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
