Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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