I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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