so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
