brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
