You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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