I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is Oprah even human
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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