I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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