You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
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Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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