come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
