She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no more duck duck goose at the bar
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
